Wednesday, July 16, 2008

IT'S NOT THE END

It's almost 3:00am, I should be asleep but I haven't been able to sleep at all. I'm dreading today with a passion. This will close another chapter of my life. I feel sick inside, seeing his body for the last time, I know it's just an empty house that could no longer contain the spirit but, when I look at him I want him to speak to me, I want more time to show him how much I love him. I know he's happy where he is and he wants me to be happy too but, I'm so very sad. I have a lump so thick in my throat I can hardly breathe, soon it will all be laid to rest. Lord you are the All Mighty you can do anything, Lord please help me, help me be strong, help me to stay focused on you and know that this is not the end because I know it's not the end but, I will miss him so. Lord I feel your presence and I know that you are with me, I just want to say, Thank you Jesus.

17 comments:

French said...

Deb may the Lord give you the strength to get through this difficult time. I am sure he is watching over you, hugging you when you need it, and leaving a shoulder for you to lean on...my heart and blessings are with you, I hope you can find peace today..Hugs Lisa

PAT said...

Dear Deb
My thoughts and prayers are with you, as always.

I'm sending you many hugs. You will remain in my prayers today and the days to come.
Pat

Kindra said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family to get through this difficult time. I wish I had the words to make the pain go away...with time. (HUGS)

Picket said...

Oh sweet Deb...You have put down on paper the exact same thing I would be feeling and thinking..yes we know it is not the end and that the world will continue to turn and the sun will shine again and you will smile again but at this moment...at this very moment what do we do with the lump in our throat and the hurt in our heart? I know with the strength and faith that lives within you that You will be fine as you feel God's strength and mercy lift you above this difficult time...may He breath on you thru out this day and even as you stand by the graveside for that final goodbye down here may God whisper in your soul "I am here dear child and I will see you thru this." Love you girl

Wendy said...

Only time will heal the hurt and as time goes on, knowing he is with Jesus and you will see him again will bring you peace. Call on the Lord to send His Comforter The Holy Spirit to fill you with a Peace that passes all understanding. I know what your going through my friend, just know you are in our thoughts and prayers.(((HUGS)))Wendy

Rue said...

Sweet Deb.... my prayers are with you today and always.

hugs,
rue

Don said...

i think you have the right frame of mind and champion spirit which, undoubtedly, will carry you through your loss...


silent prayer goes out.
walk well.

Pearl said...

Sweet Deb... My prayers remain with you and your loved ones. I'm so glad that you keep Jesus in your heart ~hug~

Please try to rest this evening, even if sleep does not come, at least lay your body down and close your eyes if you can... Always thinking of you... God Bless...

~hugs 'n love~
Pearl

Connie said...

My incredible sweet chick, this is just a season. I dread it coming for me and hubby, but I KNOW we'll be united again. I have no doubt of that whatsoever. I know you will feel his presence around you tomorrow telling you to be strong for him. Sheeesh, now I'm bawling my eyes out!! Anyway, I'll pray for you to have comfort and peace tomorrow. Deb, you KNOW the truth also, my lovely lady. Be strong and trust in Him and you'll get through this.
Smoochies and hugs and strength for tomorrow, sweetpea,
Connie

Lea of Farmhouse Blessings said...

Oh Deb, I wish I had the words to say that would bring peace to your heart. But know that I am praying for you and we serve a God that can comfort your heart.

Hugs,
Lea

Scooterblu's Whimsy said...

Deb, At 11:58 a.m. today, you came into my thoughts, and I said a prayer, along with the many others I have whispered on your behalf. I continued to think of you through~out the noon hour! Hope you felt the love and support of your many friends! God Be With You! Love, Rhonda

Jan Parrish said...

Deb, you are in my prayers. May God uphold you during this time.

Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4 (AMP)

Monday through Sunday said...

You are right..it's not the end. Still it is hard..I hope it went well. Much love to you!

Life on Bonnie Lane said...

I hope that things went well at the funeral yesterday. It was hard for me too knowing that I was looking at my mothers face, then many years later, my fathers face for the last time. The hard part is now, after the funeral is over and the people go home and they stop bringing food over. Then you have to go on and live life, and yes, sometimes it is so hard. Time will ease the pain though. I've been there. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Kady

Ruthie said...

Deb, I hope you day went OK. My heart aches for you. I went through this with both my parents and it's not easy.
This is Friday AM - we've been gone and I'm catching up on my blog friends. I'm continuing to pray for you and your family in the days ahead.
Love and prayers.

Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity said...

Deb, I lost my dad four years ago. He was only 68. I understand what you are saying. It's like a big.. part of my died when my dad did. There are times I still break down and cry. It's the little things. Such as wanting to pick up the phone and call him. But, he's not there. Until we lose a parent it's hard to understand the grief. I had a hard time sleeping when my dad died. It does get better! Try to focus on your good memories of your dad. One day you/we will be reunited. Thank-you sweet Jesus for your sacrifice. Hugs, Terrie

Feathering My Nest said...

Dear Deb, I have been away from blogging for awhile. I first scrolled down to this particular Wednesday, knowing that this was the day of your father's funeral. I just want to say how sorry I am for you loss. I can easily put myself right where you are, as I know my Daddy hasn't much time left here either. I pray the Lord has lifted your spirit and that He will give you wonderful dreams where you see visions of your father happy and at peace. God has given special dreams to many of my friends who've lost loved ones. Bless you sweetie. Kathi