This is a picture that I just took of the beautiful sky from my back yard. I took it in honor of our mighty and awesome God. I had a different post ready for today, but just as I was about to publish it, I was compelled to give testimony of our God. He has had me tucked away in his bosom ever since April 29,1996 two days after the passing of my oldest daughter Kevina.
That evening I spoke with my daughter, she was in Talladega, Alabama visiting friends that were in school there. She told me that she would be leaving there shortly and we planned to go out to Wal-mart. Within the next hour I received a phone call from a lady who'd found my number in my daughter's cell phone. She stated that there had been in a terrible car accident and my daughter had been air lifted to Birmingham's Carraway Hospital. I tried to remain calm and optimistic, and I had a friend take me to the hospital. I went to the emergency room and told them I was the mother of the young girl that had been air lifted from Talladega. The nurse took me to a small waiting room and told me that she would get the doctor. I grabbed hold of her hand and asked her "why do I have to wait here, where is she, why can't you just take me to her or tell me how she is"? The nurse told me that she didn't make it, that she had suffered a severe head trauma. I let go of her hand and sat down. She went on to get the doctor. As I sat there I was seriously thinking okay what can I do? As I thought and thought I finally came to the realization that I could do nothing, and I literally screamed and slid to the floor crying uncontrollably. The doctor came in and explain that she was so severely injured that if she had lived she would had lived the life of a vegetable. He offered me a sedative but I decline. I did see her and had the hospital Chaplin to say a prayer for her.
After returning home a State Trooper came to house and told me the circumstances of the accident. She had been in a head on collision with a drunk, driving in an out of traffic on a two lane road trying to pass other cars until he drove head on into her car. This was during the time of the Talledega Races and some of the people thought it was fun to be drunk out of their minds, in the name of a good time. To this day the mention of these races bring back heartbreaking memories of that day.
Over the next few days the devil tauted me, he told me that my baby was alone, all by herself with no one and that I should kill myself so that I could be with her. He said there were relatives here to take care of my other kids. It actually became a thought. But my God who had already chosen me, stepped in (Glory be to God) and brought back to my remembrance a guy that I had deemed the Church Man.
Roughly about five years before her passing, I was working in Downtown Birmingham at the famous Newberry's Department Store. I used to catch the bus home from work, and one day this man that I sat next to began talking with me about the Lord and how to receive him. Something deep inside of me knew that the Lord was calling me but I wasn't ready to give up my sin, so I ran. For the couple of years to follow every time I saw the Church Man he would always tell me about the Lord, there were even times when I saw him I would miss my bus purposely to avoid him. Near the end I noticed that the Church Man's health was getting worse and worse, even to the fact that he could hardly walk but he held on to his God. (Thank you Jesus) but, I kept running.
About two years before her death I was no longer working downtown and had started to work for United Healthcare, there were times when I wondered about the Church Man and hoped that he was okay. I continued running though, and running, there was incident after incident that I knew the Lord was showing me his face and still I tried to get away. I thought I wasn't doing to bad, I had a good job and a new car, I was taking care of my kids all by myself, that I could do anything, until I was faced with the death of my child. It was then I realized that I could do nothing, I had done nothing, I was never ever going to do anything and take credit for it as long as I lived, because I have the ability to do nothing without God. I can't even blink my eyes without God. It was His grace, His goodness, and His mercy that carried me and my family.
So that next night after realizing this, and as I thought of what the Church Man had said about receiving God. I went into my room, shut the door, fell to my knees, and cried like a baby, thanking the Lord for all that he'd done in my life. Then I told him that I was so sorry for all the running and all the sin that was in my life and to forgive me that I was ready to give up everything for Him and to wash me clean in His blood.
At that moment a new calm came over me, I no longer had to worry about any of the stuff that I was so proud of doing for myself, I had found the way, the truth, and the life. It was all on Him. And as I said before I've been tucked away in His bosom ever since. Don't get me wrong I'm faced with the same triumphs and disappointments as everyone else but, it's sure is good to know that I have the Lord through them all.
Wednesday night, I found a lump in my left breast, I immediately went into prayer and sought prayer from others. My prayer was for mercy but, I had a certain peace about it, that comes only from God. My prayer was also that His will be done and I was willing to be used in anyway that would bring glorification to His name. Whether it be my life, or my death (to this world). That my life would glorify God as merciful, as a healer, and faithful to His word. I was in the doctors office on Thursday, and at the hospital on Monday for a sonogram and mammogram. The results came back and it was a cyst. All glory be to God!, His goodness and mercy endureth forever, he's faithful to his word, which is a promise to never leave us nor forsake us. All Praise And Thanks Unto His Name (Jesus) And This Is My Testimony Unto Him.
Blessed be the Lord, that hath given rest unto his people Israel, according to all that he promised; there hath not failed one word of all his good promise, which he promised by the hand of Moses his servant. The Lord our God be with us, as he was with our fathers: let him not leave us nor forsake us:
That he may incline our hearts unto him, to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and his statutes, and his judgements, which he commanded our fathers.
And let these my words, wherewith I have made supplication before the Lord, be nigh unto the Lord our God day and night, that he maintain the cause of his servant, and the cause of his people Israel at all times, as the matter shall require:
That all the people of the earth may know that the Lord is God, and that there is none else.
1Kings 8:56-61
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