Friday, June 13, 2008

DAZED AND CONFUSED!


This shouldn't have happened. I have no valid explanation only speculations.
Speculation: Last week a personal problem had me so distraught that I had no appetite, I don't think I had eaten or drank anything outside of the water that it took for me to swallow my blood pressure medicine for four days leading up to my last weight in, and being empty possibly didn't render my true weight. Sunday I was coming back around and decided that I needed to eat. I ate a full dinner, which was bake ham, cabbage, fried okra, mac and cheese, and a small piece of cornbread, and that was one day. I don't think I ate much of anything Monday, I had a sandwich and a few chips. Tuesday about the same. Wednesday, Kandace made Chicken Fingers, fries, and fried okra, I ate that, and was pretty much on my diet for the rest of the week. I didn't use the back breaking exercise tape, I just walked.
This is a total heart breaker for me because I am now convinced (that if this is what I want) I can't stray away from my diet or exercise at all, or it will be a total catastrophe. If I want to lose any weight I'm doomed to a life of nothing good to eat, nearly invisible portions, or nearly kill myself exercising.
I have loss quite a few inches and don't notice a change in my clothes. I just went an tried on an outfit that I notice last week I could wear again, and it's not pulling tighter or anything. But I want the weight to come off. Maybe I should have my mouth wired shut or lock myself in a room and have three meals of air brought to me each day.
Bottom line is, I just think I should be stronger than I am concerning this. I fought with my doctor, not to go on blood pressure medication, because I wanted to see if losing the weight would take care of the problem, now my doctor has force me to take the medication because I believe she no longer has faith in me. I believe that if I really want something as bad as I want this, I should be able to do it, I've done it before. It's not even that much weight to lose. I won't even voice how I feel about myself right now, for fear of offending someone who maybe going through this same thing.
I know what I've said will concern you, I'm concerned, but it's how I feel right now. I'm not happy at all.

18 comments:

Cora from Nelia's Primitive Place said...

Boy, have I been there, believe me! Deb, I did all the wrong things when I was dieting. Starved myself, believe me. I took laxatives, didn't eat, was sick half the time, etc. But I did learn that when you do this, your body goes into a "lockdown" as if it knows it is starving, and begins to store and hang on to what it has.

Don't become discouraged and do crazy things. If you do the healthy thing, eat right, exercise right, and don't look at that crazy scale, be content with what happens no matter how slowly it is.

And thanks for visiting my blog today. It's always so nice to see your beautiful face there!!!!! Cora

Connie said...

Girl, are you nuts?!?!?! You've got to eat when dieting! Food is the fuel for your body. You CANNOT deprive it of fuel entirely. Works just like a car, sweet chickadee! Now, no more of that puuuuullllleeeeeeeze.........
Smoochies,
Connie

Wendy said...

Deb I really know how you feel, I too am one who feels I have to pretty much starve to death to lose anything! I once was on this program for a good 6 months and I stuck to it faithfully and I exercised 5-6 times a week and I lost only 9 pounds. So for some of us I think it will be a life long battle, just remember if you are eating right 95 percent of the time and exercising then you are healthy and there is nothing wrong with a treat every now and then. Something else I learned is if you only eat one meal a day your body holds onto it because it thinks its starving and it makes your metabolism slow way down, so that might be what happened with not eating all your meals. Don't be hard on yourself just pick yourself up and go on!! Take care my friend!!~Wendy

PAT said...

Deb, I know what you are going through and I know it isn't easy. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I believe in you. You will succeed!

Pat

Kindra said...

I wish I could give you a big ole' hug, Deb. Don't be so hard on yourself. I know you can do it. I know it's hard, I'm in the same boat. But at least your clothes are fitting better. That's a great sign!! We are all there for you Deb! I hope there is a sign at your door in the next couple days. Keep me posted! Have a great weekend!

Feathering My Nest said...

Deb, I will pray more for you on this. I believe you WILL be able to eat what you want once the weight is off. I really do believe this. I'm wondering if water wt. played a part in all of this. You know salt plus water means you hold onto the water? I don't know. God bless you sweetie. You've been really trying hard, and to have this must be quite discouraging. I will pray right now for you. Hugs, Kathi

Picket said...

Ohhhh sweetie...I have so been there...soooo many times...I am the type that can lose 5lbs over night but I can also gain 5 lbs in a day...starving is not the way..you got to find a happy medium..people say we overeat from emotional thingy....HELLO!!! I am from the South and I overeat cause I love good Southern food!!!! lol My own daughter has lost over 150lbs in the last 3 yrs...she had gained so much wait when she was pregnant and now she is a toothpick an so worried about gaining a lb that is has affected her physically and emotionally..I tried the weight watchers point system once and enjoyed that but I have so many gathering in my large family I can't keep from tasting all the food..I need to lose some myself so I could do more things without it wearing me down so..even 10 lbs makes alot of difference when you are carrying it around...stop looking at the scales so much sweetie..wash that beautiful face and take a deep breath...and make a new plan for tomorrow is another day...take one day at a time...tell yourself I won't eat that icecream today...they make it everyday...I may eat a whole box of it tomorrow but not today....great food will always be there so knowing that just be easier on yourself friend..you can do this...you will conquer it!! Have a great weekend girl..I'm pulling for you!

Ruthie said...

Ah, Deb, don't be discouraged. I work part -time at Curves, and with the Curves eating plan they have you eat six small meals a day - it keeps your metabolism up and you lose better that way. Also, we don't stress so much about weight, because as you work out you build muscle (which is good) and muscle weighs more than fat. So if you're turning fat into muscle, it's good, but the scales don't show it.
Curves also says to eat healthy, but don't denigh yourself every sweet. Try to watch portions of them (like maybe a half a piece of pie, rather than a whole piece...and if eaten slowely is just as satisfying as a whole piece.)
When I went on a diet a few years ago, I actually gained for several weeks, and they said just keep it up and it will eventually come off. Just don't stress about it. And it did.
(I need to lose again, tho' - too much unhealthy snacking when getting together with friends and camping.)
We're all here for you. And we love you just the way you are. So don't be discouraged.
Love and hugs.

Jan Parrish said...

Dieting can be soooo discouraging. And, unfortunately, the older we get, the harder it is to lose.

Skipping meals is bad because it makes your metabolism yo-yo. Easier said than done.

You may just have a little water weight.

It takes patience and perseverance. You can do this. I'm routing for you!

Mrs. B said...

Deb, don't give up and don't be too hard on yourself! There are always ups and downs with diets. They always say that slow weight loss is the best way to go and you're more likely to keep it off that way. I know that doesn't make it easier, but don't be too discouraged. I know that when i go too much without eating it really messes with my metabolism and I think I gain weight more easily when i start eating again, so maybe something like that happened. Keep trying if this is what you want, and remember that we're all pulling for you!

Connie said...

Deb, you ask where do I find the time???!! I simply make the time, sweetpea! I have to create things or I'm just noooooo good. AND I consider myself a "slacker"!! Hah. My daughter is just like me - "kinetic"! She once had 3 jobs just because she couldn't sit still and trust me, they didn't need the money. She just can't stand NOT doing NOTHING. Just like me. I'm retired but I KEEP busy, little cherub. Maybe that's why people cannot believe I'm as old as I am. Oh, BTW, those pix of me on my blog banner are 25 and 40 years old, lovey!!! Hah, this old lady ain't gonna GET old!! You just be careful and EAT food and it'll come off, honey.
Smoochies,
Connie

Katy said...

oh, Deb, i am so sorry!!! Don't let this get you down. Women's bodies are crazy! Between water weight going up and down....plus building muscle with all the exercise you are doing...

pray your way through this. That is the only thing that really keeps me going..praying about it and knowing God is in control cuz I can't do it myself. Cry out to Him and He will hear you!!!! xoxo

Monday through Sunday said...

Hey ~ looks like you have received a lot of encouragement and great advice. I hope you are feeling better! You can do it! It is so frustrating how a pound can come on by five minutes of fun..but that same pound takes hours to take off. :) Patience is the key...you can do it! I cannot wait to see you in those gorgeous dresses you posted about earlier!

Pearl said...

~reaching for you hand and giving it a gentle squeeze~ I'm so sorry you're on a rough spot on this journey, but I'm also so proud of you for sharing. What you're working on isn't easy, by a long shot. I'm betting that your doctor does have faith in you, Deb. Just because you went onto the medication isn't a confirmation of a loss of faith... it's a safety net, Sweetie, to help protect your body until you find that smooth place on your journey. For as much as you're upset, right now, please know that I am always here, at your side to cheer you along and to love you, no matter what the scale says. And, don't forget that Jesus is at your side as well. Maybe this is one of those times where you just need to allow Him to carry you for awhile... just let Him wrap His arms around you and draw strength from Him.

My continued prayers are going up for you... always. God bless...

~hugs 'n love~

Pearl

Becky said...

Hi - this sounds a lot like what I went through about 2 years ago. Finally after trying everything, my doctor did some blood tests and we discovered I was insulin resistant. He put me on metformin (glucophage) medicine and then it helped my body regulate the insulin production and I was finally able to start losing weight. I've lost 70lbs and feel so much better!! Just thought this might be something you could have checked out as it is hard to figure out sometimes. Good luck and hang in there!

Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity said...

Deb, I am sorry you feel down about not losing weight. It has gotten very tough for me to lose weigh. Don't give up. I know you can do it. Please come by my blog. I have something for you.
HUgs, Terrie

Rue said...

Hi Deb...

I know you're frustrated and I know what you're going through. I lost 30 pounds 3 years ago and I've gained half of it back. Now I have to go through it again and I hate it. Listen to the advice here especially Pickets. That would've been my advice too.

Good luck sweetie,
rue

Lea of Farmhouse*Blessings said...

I'm so sorry, Deb! I know how frustrating that can be. I was always a teeny weeny ... until I turned 40. Now I have steadily gained weight and recently have sorta tried to make an effort to bring it back down but its not happening. I could just cry too. Looks like I'm going to have to work hard if I want to keep my dress size from going up again.

But you know, it may take a while to get used to the adjustment, but we'll get there and we'll still find goodies now to enjoy.

Just keeping moving forward and don't look back. Whatever you do be healthier today will be just great!

Smiles,
Lea